Take a look around the room you are in right now. Count how many things you can see that are red. Ready go.
No, really. Count. Red. Do it.
Okay, how many things did you see that were blue? You don't know?! What?! Because you were focused on all the red, right? Alright...take another look around. Is there any blue? Why didn't you notice it before?
Our brains are naturally wired to do one thing: survive. Your brain does not care if you are happy or satisfied with your life. It's function is not to motivate you. Your brain does whatever it can to keep you breathing and to keep your heart pumping. Our brains seek safety, routine, ease and repetition.
So, if you think about a big, scary goal. You natural inclination might be to automatically shut it down and list all of the reasons it is unsafe or risky or stupid. Remember, your brain wants to protect you. So, it may protect you from failure, embarrassment, or disappointment. If you have a negative stream of thoughts on repeat in your mind, you brain will just keep playing those, because it's the easiest thing to do. It's what comes naturally. Whatever you ALREADY have going on in your head is red. If you are naturally a worrier, all of those thoughts are red. If you want to stop worrying so much, you need to program you brain to see a different color. It will be slow and awkward, just as it would be to switch your pen to a different hand than the one you are accustomed to write with. But, you can do it.
I am always in awe of people who experience tragic events like Bethany Hamilton, the girl who lost her arm to a shark, and whose story was turned into the movie Soul Surfer.
I watched her later as she competed on The Amazing Race (have you ever seen that show?! I'd love to be on it! But I'd probably be the girl crying the whole time. Lol!). Bethany was an aggressive and competitive athlete, outperforming others again and again...with only one arm! I am sure it was unimaginably difficult to relearn how to do everything she'd once done naturally, but she eventually taught herself to live life in a different color than red. Default wasn't going to cut it anymore.
Whatever it is in your life that is holding you back, identify it, and find something else to replace it with. If you keep telling yourself you are not good enough (red), create an affirmation you can come back at those negative thoughts with (blue) until blue becomes your new default. I promise, you will find whatever you look for. It's there, just waiting for you to see it.